Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Why Me?

Do you ever have those days.... you know those days? The "Why Me?!" days? That was today this week.
(*if you do not want to hear about a girl rant about her stressful week followed by graces of God-quit reading now*)

For those of you that are still here- Let me explain...

So the week started out like any other-fine, dandy, chem. lab got out early even! (can I get a "Woot Woot?" ) Anyways-then I decided to look at my grades for my hardest class... YIKES! Not a good idea :( I'm the type of person that stresses about grades, let's just say tensions were a little higher after I checked these out...
Then I realized I had my first Chemistry Exam in ...FOUR DAYS?! And the review session I had just been to did not make me feel confident in the slightest.
As homework piled, weather gloomed, and the cafeteria just seemed to not have anything worth eating (we can all see where my priorities lay) I got more and more upset with life.

Then-about, oh, 3 hours ago, after finishing up my Physiology Lab (not exactly the highlight of my week) I decide to walk into the restroom and wash my hands from everything we had to dissect in lab...
Long story short, bookbag swung off back-cell phone in zipper, zipper = not zipped, phone + toilet = :O
Yes, my phone had flown into the toilet, less than one month after receiving it. Wow. Dandy. Find and dandy.

So dramatic, emotional Kristen grabbed it, and sunk to the floor of the biology lab center's bathroom and cried.

After I pulled myself together, I stomped back to my dorm room, borrowed my friend's phone and informed my mother. She said we would figure it all out, as only a mother can and that she'd email me later after we threw it in rice and saw how that went. If worse came to worse we could always call the insurance company (yes, we have phone insurance for this little accident-prone child!).

Alright, so I after typing this out, I'm already feeling ridiculous about freaking out about all this,  but... for the sake of who knows what, I'm going to finish!

So-back to my issues...
I'm sitting in my room fuming wondering what I was going to do with my night, I couldn't study anymore, not in this stressed out state, and after trying hard with multiple emails, I could not get ahold of my mom to vent. So what's a girl to do?

But not just any run. This girl needed some serious P.R. (aka-prayer running)
So I did. I went and ran.
At first the P.R. was more of a pout run.
To give you insight to my brain, it went a little something like this...
"Why me? Why this week? What does me dropping my new phone in the toilet have to do with Your plan God? WHY!? Why is my mom not answering her emails? Why is this Chemistry not coming easily? Why are my grades not very hot in physiology? WHY!? I. Do. Not. Understand. I'm trying to do my best to further Your will. But this week is tearing me down Lord! What is up? Why. Me."

And then, in His soft and loving voice, as only God can, I heard...
"Yes, why you?"
"Why, Kristen, are you so lucky to have a new phone when some children can't afford new shoe? Why are so blessed with people who want to talk and spend time with you on your phone? Why were you given a mother that is currently spending time substitute teaching your brother's religion class instead of sitting right beside her computer? Why do you have a body that can run and walk and learn, when some people don't have two working legs? Why are you able to go to a University of your choice? And study what you want? And feel safe, secure, and at home in this place?
...daughter, I'm wondering the same thing-Why You?"

Woah. Talk about hitting you like a ton of bricks. I get it now, I see the reasoning, (well at least the part God is sharing with me). I see how this 'disaster' was sent to me to bring me back to earth, to show me how to take a deep breath and realize everything is going to be fine. Grades will bounce back, tests will be survived through, phones can get repaired.
It is our relationship with God, with loved ones, with ourselves that are important. It is love. 

So take a deep breath, smile, relax (go for a P.R., or eat some chocolate peanut butter) and keep on keeping on! Because life is too short, and God is too powerful to sweat the small stuff!

Psalm 20~
The LORD hear thee in the day of trouble;
the name of the God of Jacob defend thee;
2 send thee help from the sanctuary,
and strengthen thee out of Zion;
3 remember all thy offerings,
and accept thy burnt sacrifice.
4 Grant thee according to thine own heart,
and fulfil all thy counsel.
5 We will rejoice in thy salvation,
and in the name of our God we will set up our banners:
the LORD fulfil all thy petitions.
6 Now know I that the LORD saveth his anointed;
he will hear him from his holy heaven
with the saving strength of his right hand.
7 Some trust in chariots, and some in horses:
but we will remember the name of the LORD our God.
8 They are brought down and fallen:
but we are risen, and stand upright.
9 Save, LORD:
let the king hear us when we call.

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